employee: welcome to WAL-MART, how may i help you sir.

customer: yes, i would like two bags of crack, 10 AK-47's, 30 AR-15's, and 50 RPG-7's

employee: how many beer bottles sir?

customer: 170 please!

employee: would you like some pot with that!

customer: wha... wha... WTF! of course i would like some pot you stupid cunt! goddmammit!

employee: sir, please stop! you're scaring away all of the negros!!!!!!!!!!!

negro #1: yo, i'm outta heyah dawg, fuck this shit, its trippin!

negro #2: yeah bitches! peace out my n***as!

negro #3: yeah, my biatches, you all can go fudge yourselves you treehugging rapscallions! you all stink! heheheheheheheheheh!!!!!!!!!!!!

negro leader: goddammit bill!!!!! you trippin bitch!

employee: dammit! you fucking icehead !!!!!!

customer: wait wait... AHHHH!
(BAM BAM)

the end

i just cummed in my pants, see ya! i'm gonna get high on pepper in a bathroom

this story will be about a lazy ass stoner named gabe that lives in a back alley and works at the local burgerfuck and trouble will ensue in almost every strip.

first 3 strip ideas

strip 1: gabe's friend "drugger" finds out he works at burgerfuck and takes advantage of him by using the drive-thru to sell drugs, meanwhile, dave the snitch finds out about the problem and trouble ensues with the cops.

strip 2: gabe and drugger have to either go to jail or pretend to be chicks and audition to "slutbags ahoy" for the cops amusement, meanwhile, the mafia hears about drugger's run in with the cops and will threaten to kill him if he doesn't get the stuff back.

strip 3: after a shootout victory against the mafia by pure luck, the don asks gabe and drugger to work for him or be killed, then the duo realize they are in a deep pile of shit. meanwhile gabes corrupt brother fagho gets critically wounded and thinks he is safe, until he finds out the people who critically wounded him killed all of the real doctors and are pretending to be doctors, which leads to... well the rest is for your sick imagination!

my website that i am going to make is called lazyass, it will be a website where you can be yourself, of course to be on the website, you have to be a lazy ass son of a bitch that does nothing but sit around all day eat munchies, smoke pot, and watch MTV or whatever your favorite channel is. this site will have other parts, the six parts are start an account, art, music, cool shit, hot chicks, and the heavy metal, monster truck page: a dedication, and i am also going to explain what the user page looks like, it ahs two boxes on the left and right end sides, and in the middle it will say welcome to your userpage in a buuble and you can hear a hot chicks voice and you can put a tune clip from any song you want to play after the quote, and next to the quote bubble, which you can also insert random quotes into, is the insert your own cool shit page for any cool shit you found or made yourself but your too much of a pussy to hear reviews, and on the left side box it will say info about you and you can also put any other info you want in there if the space provided doesn't have a word saying the name of the info and what you would put, for example (age: 15) the default info you can put into the box is...
name
age
art submitted
music submitted
cool shit submitted
hot chick stuff submitted
favorite art
favorite music
favorite cool shit
favorite hot chick stuff
gender
wight
height
URL
email adress

and there is the right end box which is the easter egg list and which ones you have unlocked (the easter eggs are kinda like the newgrounds secrets, only way much more fucking awesome
the easter eggs are:
1. art tool
2. music/video editor
3. journal
4. game pak 1
5. art slideshow
6. music trader
7. game pak 2
8. video package
9.bikini chicks with a surprise
10. virtual casino/strip bar
11. virtual awesome room
12.lazyass.com special store
13. the online TV

there are two ways to obtain these...
way 1: you have to post a certain amount of stuff for each one
OR...
way 2: to get them all at once you have to convince 20 friends to join

there are an infinite amount of other things you can do also...

just to warn you this site isn't up and running...yet

i'm finally back, after about a month and a half i am back on newgrounds, i did not go on here because for some reason i could only be able to vote when i had that stupid google chrome, and my parents took it away so afterwards i could not vote it would just say its loading but i waited one time for at least half an hour so i just decided to give myself a break from newgrounds for a while, i i did not even go on here to watch flash's or listen to audio, i see there is an art portal, that's pretty sweet, maybe i can submit some art for that video game i was talking about in an earlier news post, by the way, if anyone wants to buy a demo copy of my video game from me go ahead, just PM me if you're interested and maybe i can sell you one

it is that sandbox style fantasy adventure game i was talking about, though it takes place in three time eras, the dark ages (1100's-1400's), present day 2009, and 2150, all three time eras all have dozens of characters each with their own story/plot to go through, and there is 64 person multiplayer with over 25 different modes of gameplay, along with over 100 weapons, 150 if you count multiplayer exclusives,just about any cvehicle you could think of, and enough extra features to make you want to pop this game in the console years from now, it is pretty much GTA4 but 10 times the realism, but i will warn you, these are demo copies i have in my possession, so if there are any glitches, i will come up with some patches to fix the problems with the games coding (if there are any, i am not sure!) multiplayer gamers can also upgrade whatever character they are using and choose from one of the over 350 different costumes and outfits, and players online can trade items and other things worldwide, on any modes that require teams to play, you can do voice commands if you are the squad leader of a team, there are several hundred minigames and of course, if you want to, you can load just about any song you want onto the jukebox, watch movies(regular or 3D) in 1080p HD, 5.1 SS in the home theatre, drink and smoke drugs at your personal bar, stay fit in the gym,have fun with your own personal robo-hooker, and bowl in your home bowling alley, all of this can be done in a cave you own, known as the "hideout" there are infinite possibilities in this game and i am sure anyone can enjoy it if they get the big picture!

uh huh huh huh!!!!!!!

you won't fucking believe it!!!!!!!!!!! there is going to be a ju-on video game on the nintendo wii!!!!!!!!! sweet huh!!!!!!! for those of you idiots who don't know what ju-on is... ju-on= the grudge in japanese

a equation i came up with! v+k=d
v+ts=cpyp
v+tk=p
v+gtac=md, you fucktard, you screwed more people into an early death!!!

v=victim
k=kayako (the mother)
ts=toshio (the son)
tk=takeo (the father)
gtac= going to another country
d=death
cpyp=crapping your pants
p=possession
md=more death

here is a link!!!!!!!: htttp://www.juongame.jp/

i was thinking of making a animated flash of kenobi and vader dueling on the death star in star wars episode 4 with the track "duel of the fates" playing and some flashbacks to the mustafar duel and maybe i could throw an alternate ending or two in there and some hidden bonus scenes, but the coolest thing is, i will make two versions, one is my animation style and the other is a treat for you newgrounders, the madness combat animation style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!! sweet huh!!!!!!!!!!

this is awesome

watch this goddamn video or you will die in seven days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why the hell are there no guest characters in soul calibur 3, the whole guest character idea is one of the best features of soul calibur series and they just took that away for sc 3, what the fuck!!!!!! and noone seems to give a shit because of all of the bonus characters and weapon upgrades and unlockables

1. unless you are a super gay fantasy geek, you most likely won't like any extra characters unless they are well known!

2.seriously people, if you are too lazy to block or dodge that you have to have weapons and upgrades for those weapons, you are a dumb fuck, i get my ass kicked without weapons all the time but you don't hear me crying about it or taking the easy way out! and no i don't take the easy way out for the smart-ass little cockfucks who like to post dumb fucking comments or spam!!!! so there!!!!!!!

3. i am a fan of unlockables, i really am, but come on!!!!!!!!!!!!! some stupid fucking items with the word "soul" in it that barely do anything , are you fucking kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!! godamnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!