- Age / Gender:
- 21, Male
- All Stats >
I got no job, no car, no girlfriend, no friends, no life, all i do is sit around all day and play video games, eat junk food, jack off, and listen to heavy metal and i'm pretty proud to be a slacker...
- Community Stats
Level 37 Gamer
Ranked as Sup. Commander
This is a revamped version of a Q&A that I made a VERY long time ago, I just took it and altered it considerably, removing most of the original questions and answers, adding a few new ones, and editing the ones that I did retain from the original Q&A...
A lot of the answers were intentionally made to be immature because the kid asking the questions is only 12 years old, so the guy answering them intentionally dumbs down his speech so the little annoying prick can understand.
Q: Why Do We Exist?
A: Because The Vengeful Bearded Sky Wizard Got All Fucked Up On Booze And Crack
Q: Whats The Meaning Of Life?
A: Grand Theft Auto 4... And Your Mother's Sweet Ass.
Q: Why GTA4?
A: Do Not Question The Almighty Grand Theft Auto 4, You Might Anger It... And Get A Cap In Your Ass!
Q: Why Does The United States Economy Suck Ass?
A: Because Satan Took Office For 8 Whole Years In The Form Of An Inbred Cousin Fucking Hillbilly With A Single Digit IQ (AKA George W. Bush)
Q: Am I Going To Die Of Cancer?
A: Only If The Vengeful Bearded Sky Wizard Hates You.
Q: Is The Simpsons Not Funny Anymore?
A: You Do The Fucking Math! Piss Colored People + Banal Jokes + A Tedious Formula = Not Fu... (Gunshot To Head)
MATT GROENING: HAHA!!!!!!
Q: Why Is Grand Theft Auto 4 So Great?
A: Because Rockstar Games Got The Inspiration From Snorting A LOT Of Blow Off Of Strippers Asses!
Q: What The Hell Are Feminists?!
A: A Bunch Of Fat, Old Bitches On Their Periods.
Q: Why Do Homosexuals Exist?
A: Ha Ha Ha, Young Man, You Are Far Too Young To Be Using The Politically Correct Term For Them, Refer To Them As Faggots Like Every Other 12 Year Old Boy That Fears That Which He Does Not Understand.
Q: Okay, Why Do Faggots Exist?
A: Because Mr. Sky Daddy Thought It Was Boring To Just Have People Who Stick Wee-Wees Into Magical Pink Tacos.
Q:How Can I Solve The Homeless Problem?
A:Throw Some Melee Weapons And A Few Hundred Dollar Bills On The Ground And Watch The Magic Happen.
Q:Why Do Black People Always Get Into Violent Confrontations?
A:Because Monkeys Will Always Be Monkeys.
Q: Why Is EyeLovePoozy From Newgrounds.Com Such A Giant Douchebag
A: Because That Is A Lifestyle He Chooses.
Q: Why Do Republicans Shit All Over Everybody All Of The Time?
A: Because They Have No Souls, Only Diarrhea In Place Of Where Their Souls Should Be.
Q: Is PsychoGoldfish Really A Psychotic Goldfish?
A: Did Your Mother Push Too Hard And End Up Rocketing You Into A Wall?
Q: Do Gingers Have Souls?
A: Go Watch South Park Episode 136 For The Answer.
Q: I Thought South Park Was Incorrect About That!
A: Ha Ha Ha! Young Man, South Park Is Never Wrong.
Q: Is Wade Fulp A Pedophile?
A: 1. I Sure Do Hope Not, He's My Kid's Gym Coach.
2. No More Stupid Newgrounds Questions!
Q:Which Is Better, The Xbox 360 Or Playstation 3?
A: Rhetorical Question, The Actual Answer Is Alcohol,Cocaine,Transvestite Filipino Prostitutes And Overquoting Family Guy,South Park,Robot Chicken,And Judd Apatow Flicks Until You Get Punched To Death By A Pissed Off Chocolate Person... Giggity Giggity Goo.
Q: How Fast Can Cars Go?
A: Faster Than You Can Prematurely Ejaculate In Your Pants When You See A Hot Chick Eat A Hot Dog.
Q: Fuck You!
A: You Wish.
Q:When Will I Become An Adult?
A:When Your Curly Farm Fully Grows, Or If You're In The South, When You Rape Your First Farm Animal.
Q: Are Drugs Fun?
A: Are You Shitting Me, That's Like Asking If Fast Food Is Tasty Or If 1/8 Of All Prostitutes Have A Dick!
Q: So Yes Then?
A: Ugh, Look, Here's This Number, 540-834-7641, Ask For William, Tell Him You Want The Super Happy Fun Time Magic Special, Say That Fat G Sent You, He'll Hook You Up, But If You Want A Different Kind Of Fun, Ask For Suzanne, And Say That You Want The $50 Steamer, Oh Boy, Will You Squeal Like A Bitch After She's Done With You.
Q: Do All Asian Males Have Tiny Penises?
A: I Think We All Know The Answer To That.
Q: Do All Black Males Have Huge Penises?
A: It's A Popular Hoax, Trust Me, If That Was True, There Would Be A Much Higher Mortality Rate For Rotund, White Females, Huh Huh Huh, Extended Vocabulary!
Q: Why Does The Vengeful Sky Wizard Eventually Kill All Of Us?
A: Because He Is A Monumental Dickhead.
Q: How Do You Take A Census In Israel?
A: That's A Really Random Ques- Oh, Wait A Minute, Never Mind... All You Have To Do Is Roll A Quarter Down The Street.
Q: Does Top Gun Have Gay Undertones?
A: Uh, Hell Yeah! It Has Tom Cruise In It, That Should Be Enough Evidence Right There!
Q: What About Naruto?
A: Oh Come On, You Know The Answer To That!
Q: Does Rap Suck?
A: Oh, Little Boy, Do NOT Get Me Started On That Bullshit Tripe!
Q: When Will The World End?
A: After The Kardashiwest Creature Is Born And Grows Older And It Does Battle With Honey Boo Boo On Friday The 13th On A Full Moon
Q: Did The Holocaust Really Happen?
A: Mr. Irving, Is That You?
Q: Is Religion Bad?
A: Oh Fuck, Let Me Put It This Way, Science Flies Us To The Moon, Religion Flies Us Into Buildings.
Q: How Can You Stop A Pack Of Black Guys From Raping A White Woman?
A: You Throw Them A Basketball.
Q: How Can You Tell If A Hooker Has A VD?
A: As Long As She Isn't A Polack, You're Safe, But Whatever You Do, NEVER EVER STICK YOUR FACE INTO A BLUE WAFFLE! Or Your Face Will Permanently Look Like Jocelyn Wildenstein! AHHHHHHHH (Turns To Stone)
Q: Are There Girls On The Internet?
A: HA HA HA HA HA... No.
Q: How Do I Join The Crips?
A: Just Casually Walk Up To Them With A Bucket Of KFC In Your Left Hand, A Slice Of Watermelon In Your Right Hand, And A Fat White Woman With A Slave Collar Around Her Neck That's Chained And Wrapped Around Your Arm, And Tell Them That You Want To Kill Some Fucking Pigs.
Q: How Do I Join The Bloods?
A: Do The Same Thing As Above, But Aggressively Walk Up To Them Instead.
Q: How Do I Join The Latin Kings?
A: Wear A Sign Around Your Body Saying "Los mexicanos son retrasados perras que tienen penes rotos!", They'll Let You In For Sure!
Q: How Do You Have Sex?
A: Why The Fuck Do People Think This Is So Hard, All You Do Is Take Your Thing And Stick It In Her Thing, Is It That Hard, Little Man? Huh Huh Huh, Hard!
Q: Why Do People Online Act Like Assholes?
A: Because They're A Bunch Of Bitter, Fat Little Basement-Dwelling Nerds That Got WAY TOO MANY Wedgies In High School And Have Never Been Touched In Their Special Magic Place By A Girl, So They Think Bullying Each Other Online Solves Their Shitty Adolescences.
Q; What The Hell Is Star Wars?
A: Seriously, If You Don't Know What That Is My Friend, You Are A Soul Dead Little Cunt That Deserves To Be Dismembered And Then Immolated.
Q: Why Do I Act Like Such A Freak?
A: Because Your Father Raped You In The Ass Just A Little Bit Too Much
Recent Game Medals
Total Medals Earned: 171 (From 21 different games.)